The Power of Unix or "Can it make me a PB&J?"

So, I was talking to a friend, and I was mentioning how powerful Unix is, and all these various things it can do, and he made the mistake of challenging whether or not it could make a PB&J. I think it's worthy of an xkcd.org comic, but I'm not the author unfortunately (the author is beyond brilliant!). In lieu of authorship of xkcd, I offer this exchange to the masses.


9:51 Friend:
Can it make my pb&j sandwich or do I have to go downstairs and do it?

9:52 Me:
It absolutely could.
No problem.
You wouldn't even have to go downstairs..
But you'd have to build the mechanisms. and then wire serial into the servo's.

9:53 Friend:
Ah you got me

9:53 Me:
I'd set it up with two automated squeeze dispensers.
Basically two mechanical hands with rubber covered fingers. gripping plastic squeeze bottles. and you'd want a warmer on the hand holding the PB so it could squeeze a little easier..
I'd say about 88 degrees F would probably do.. although 98-108 would make it run nice.
Then an elevator with an attached plate. and bread loaded into the bread hopper.
Which would have to slide the bread off slice by slice and lay it over on the plate..

9:55 Friend:
Ok it was meant as ajoke, now you've taken it beynod hypothetical to conditional reality... I gotta make a sandwich

9:55 Me:
a simple mechanical device.. I know.. I'm just saying.. it could.. and I could tell you how to do it.

9:55 Me:
it's just that f-ing powerful